Resentment is often ignored and pushed underground while it eats at you. There are many scenarios that lead to resentment, but often it arises from doing things because you want to please and are seeking approval. If you don’t get the recognition you think you deserve, resentment arises and sets up house. This contracted feeling builds up over time, particularly if ulterior motives are in play such as, wanting something you won’t ask for, pleasing, saying yes when a loud NO is ringing in your ears, or not setting good boundaries.
Left to fester, a pervasive feeling of dissatisfaction sets in. Feeling unseen without skillfully navigating the root cause weighs heavy on the physical and emotional body system which can lead to dis-ease and chronic conditions.
There is a way out. And it takes courage to look at what you are up to with open, kind awareness. One of the things we often long for is increased freedom of the body, heart and mind.
Use this mindful checklist to check in with yourself about feelings of resentment, how they reside in your body, and how you can work with them. The resentment doesn’t have to be about only big things, even small grievances add up.
Set intention to investigate with kindness the resentment you hold; it’s there just below the surface; you can look at it
Recognize early frustration when you notice not receiving some affirmation you were expecting; be honest
Pause, take a deep breath and feel sensation in your feet and the support of the ground
Open to whatever feeling is there inside the resentment; disappointment, anger, sorrow, embarrassment, overwhelm
Be curious about what is really happening, with a willingness to see
Ask; what do I want in this situation? Listen for the answer with patience, kindness and a desire to know
This is a good start to mindfully work with resentment; acknowledge, see and ask.
Stay tuned for part 2 of the mindful checklist for resentment next week.
“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart...”
If you enjoy these weekly mindful checklists share with friends.