The word resentment taken apart reads re sent to me. We rarely think of it this way because it feels like it is about the “other.” What is truer is the “other” often has no idea they have made an impact, positive or negative; they have simply moved on with their life. You are the one left stewing in perceived injustices. Most often resentment arises from expectations that are either not communicated, poorly communicated, unrealistic, or too demanding.
Resentment is all about you holding on….to the encounter, the hurt feelings, the lack of appreciation and validation. It is all about you, and it is a catalyst for stress and anger increasing your odds for disease and poor health.
This is good news. Seeing it this way you step into choice. You choose whether to hold on to the poison or let it go so you can have peace. Sometimes this feels insurmountable, the contraction of resentment is so powerful. When your desire for peace is greater than your desire for retribution, you humbly step through the door and let go for your own inner peace and health. Life is precious and your exposure is short.
Use this mindful checklist, building on the one from last week to set down the flame of resentment and enter the cool space of release. It is here you will find peace.
Last week’s checklist was a good start to acknowledge, see and ask. To deepen the investigation, continue with the steps outlined below:
As more clarity arises, ask; what’s my part and is there desire to courageously move toward change
Set intention to see and own your part in the dynamic of the resentment/expectation dance
Be forgiving and tender with yourself and others; resentment is hard to let go of
Breathe in self-compassion and kindness, the feelings that resentment activates feel very real
Courageously ask directly for what you need and want
“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”
If you enjoy these weekly mindful checklists share with friends.