Mindful Checklist Disappointment

Disappointment is an everyday occurrence that is difficult to acknowledge and feel. It often registers as annoyance, frustration, or dissatisfaction. It’s often easier to diminish the experience to avoid feeling the full weight of disappointment.

If you give disappointment the attention it wants and deserves, it might open a door to experiencing the full range of your life in this moment, rather than the small contained box you keep yourself in for comfort and safety. Often, you do things to minimize the feeling of disappointment even calling it something different to avoid feeling its sinking weight.

I get it, who wants to turn towards and feel something as dense as disappointment?

Distraction, numbness, overeating, overdrinking and blame are a few go-to mechanisms to get away from being, feeling, and experiencing disappointment.

This consumes large amounts of energy to push down this unpleasant feeling, causing stress, depression, and less than optimum health. It’s worthwhile and important to turn toward the experience you are having right now…. even if it’s disappointment. The acknowledgment creates space and can lessen the constriction that disappointment brings.

Use this mindful checklist to move through disappointment:

  • Slow down enough to feel what your body is experiencing, tuning into the tightness

  • Take a breath and invite compassionate, kind energy

  • Acknowledge what you are feeling; allowing the fact that you are disappointed

  • Quiet your mind, feel the weight of your body, tune into the space you are in and feel the disappointment that it is here

  • Ask: where does this reside in my body? Does it have a color? Texture? Sound? – get to know your disappointment

  • Suspend judgment of yourself, others, and the cause of disappointment

  • Be kind to yourself, take care of your inner dialogue

  • Cultivate resilience; know that this is one moment in your life, not your whole life

“Disappointment is a good sign of basic intelligence. It cannot be compared to anything else: it is so sharp, precise, obvious, and direct. If we can open, then we suddenly begin to see that our expectations are irrelevant compared with the reality of the situations we are facing.”  

-Chogyam Trungpa  

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Photo credit Kat J on Unsplash